Love is Not Selfish

Death is one of the mysteries of life that we probably will never understand.  You can’t wish it away nor will death be ignored.  For most, it will be a defining moment in our lives……..and often comes unexpectedly.  I read a wonderful blog on BlogLovin “A Fathers Blessing” by Antoinette Frankli which inspired me  to re-blog my post about my mother’s home going.

As I stood hand in hand with my family at the close of 2012, I would have never imagined what the new year would hold.  Nothing anyone could have said would have prepared me for my five-week journey (not even the prophetic word that was spoken that “change” was coming). Today, it still feels like a dream. How will I make it in this life without my confidant, my best friend, and mother? Who is going to cheer me on when others cannot visualize my dream? The tears began to flow even before the truth was realized.  My spirit grasped what I could not perceive in the natural.

Change was quickly approaching.

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The question now is, “How did I survive it all?” As I trip through my past memories, I know it was surely by the Grace & Mercy of a loving Father. I learned many lessons throughout this journey but the one that clearly stands out is, “love is not selfish”. How do you let go of something or someone that you clearly want to hold on to?

It is a selfless act.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 took on a new meaning:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

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I have been a Mommy’s girl all my life and I could not envision or corral the thought of being separated from her even if it was only for a little while. Yet, my heart could not endure her not being the person God created her to be, healthy and whole.  In fact, one day as I watched her wrestle with her discomfort, my heart hurt to see her misery. Her response to me was, “this is my journey and I am not worried because I am in Jesus and Jesus is in me”.  There has only been a few times where I’ve witnessed such faith and courage. The wings of my heart opened up. Although, there are days where sadness engulfs me. I stand in awe when I think of God’s grace. Why? Because my Mom acted selflessly as she prepared me for her journey home. She laid aside her own concerns and planted the seed of HOPE that we would be able to continue on because of the legacy that she left us.  Many have said she was still young, and for this day and time she could have been. However, I have learned it is not about the number of days; it is about your quality of life. Who did you touch and are they a better person because of you?  I do know one thing for sure; I am a better person because of her. I surely will miss her.

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Nonetheless, her voice will forever linger in my ear. “I will always be with you; no matter what you do or where you go.”

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25 thoughts on “Love is Not Selfish

  1. I just love this post. While I can’t identify with losing someone so close to me, there was something else that really struck my heart: the closeness and the wisdom yall shared with each other. That is so encouraging to me as a mom, raising my children to a higher calling. I love the things she said to you that you really took to heart. I long to have a relationship like that with my kids!

    And then I realized that Keturah is your daughter, and now I see where she gets her loving heart from! She spoke some wisdom to me a few days ago that has refreshed and renewed my entire outlook! Yall’s family is such a blessing to the world, I’m so grateful for the chance to get to know yall! I hope you have a beautiful weekend! Blessings, Tiffany

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    1. Tiffany, thank you, for the kind words. I know I would not be the person I am if it had not been from my mother. She protected my tender heart. Some parents feel that their job is done when their children finish high school or college but my mother was a mother until the Father called her home. Have a blessed weekend!

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  2. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about such a hard time, and offering hope to those who have lost those closest to them as well.

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  3. Sounds very familiar. I was a Daddy’s girl. Still am. Before my father went home to heaven, he kept reminding us that God’s grace was sufficient. Telling us to hold fast to Jesus that He would carry us through the days ahead. Day after day until the final hours he quoted 2 Corinthians 12:9 to us. I can hardly wait to tell him he was right. God’s grace is sufficient for all my needs.

    Thank you for sharing.

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  4. So sorry for your loss. I can’t say that I know how you feel because I still have my mother with me. I am a mother’s girl too, so I can only imagine how you are feeling with life without your mom. May the Lord continue to soothe the pain of losing your mother.

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  5. Oh Marilyn, I grieve with you. I lost my mother in November and life totally changed for me, too. There’s joy at the thought about being in Heaven with the God she followed her whole life. But there’s sadness for me, my father and siblings. She lived 1 Corinthians 13.

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  6. Wow–what a powerful tribute to your mother. I am so very sorry for your loss–that last sentence really got me choked up. Blessings to you!

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    1. I am an adult and I know how the loss of my mother effect me. It is hard for my heart to comprehend how younger person manages the loss. My grandmother loss her mother when she was 12. She always told us to appreciate our mother. Thank you, for your kind words.

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  7. Thank you for sharing! I lost my daddy several years ago and it seems like the pain and hurt and lost never totally goes away. I read somewhere that grief is like winding up a ball of yarn and every once in a while we drop the ball and it unwinds a little and we pick it back up and start winding again. I so enjoyed reading your precious memories.

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  8. I am really sorry for your loss. I and my mum are also very close and i cannot imagine losing her; but like you said, it is inevitable. It is only the Comforter (Holy Spirit) who can do this work in grieving hearts. Thanks for this.

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